Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Passion,,, what is this?

As I am attempting to prepare for class on Sunday and praying that God will work through me to teach what the high school students need, I am researching on the internet (how did we live without this tool) and looking to define passion. As so many things on the internet when you search for a definition of passion you get so many different ideas, thoughts, blogs, etc... and each in some way has their own definition of passion. What are you passionate about? What is passion? Do we all have a deep passion for something? Do we attempt to hide that passion for fear of where it will lead us or what others will think of us if our passion is different from theirs? I think we all can agree that God had a great passion to create us all in his own image, and that Christ had a great passion to free us all from sin. What is your passion? To live a life for Christ? To lead others to Christ? Or to just exist and not cause waves in this cruel world? To deny that God placed a passion in each of our hearts because it is easier to be lazy than to be what Christ has truly meant us to be in this life?
As parents, do we have a passion to help our children, the children that God loaned us to prepare to for their journey on this earth, to truly become what God has designed them to be? Or are we to busy with our own life's, hiding from what we need to do, calling ourselves busy, to teach them, show them the way, and guide them to follow that passion inside to achieve all that God has set forth in their lives to become prosperous, productive christians, and further the work of our savior on this earth.
Maybe, we need to search our own lives, to re-kindle that passion that God has placed in our hearts that have hardened over the years with the scars of life. Just as Christ washed away our since so can he soften our hearts and help us to feel that passion again.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Camp Week

This is camp week and Karen, Jeff, and Beth are all gone, so what an opportunity to get somethings I need to do with the Real Estate business accomplished, right? Yeah, whatever. Last Wednesday I had plans to get things done and now every night this week is full with things I am doing to help others. This is what Jason says my "I" personality does to me, I really do want to help everyone and please everyone and wind up with my plate over full and never getting my things accomplished. Anyone that I am helping this week, do NOT take this as a complaint and wishing I was not helping, I DO want to help, I just wish I was better at organizing my time or could convince God to add about 2-3 more hrs to the day for "my time" but who am I kidding I would just feel that up with unnecessary stuff like every other hour.

One thing that being alone does though is gives me more time to think especially at night since I just do not sleep well when Karen is not at home, oh yeah I sleep but it is a lighter sleep and waking up every 30-45 minutes all night. But anyway I was saying it gives me time to think and reflect on my life. Where am I in my spiritual (I often forget to think about this part), family, professional journey? Am I where I need to be and at these times is when I ask am I where God needs me to be in my journey? I believe that God has such great plans for us all and how many of us live up to what he needs us to be in life? Why do I let the little life things turn into the big stumbling blocks that keep me from being who I need to be? Why do I let life's crap effect the way I treat my family? They deserve so much more and yet I give them so little and talk to them with such a terrible attitude and yet they love me anyway? WHY? Oh God, please help me to keep you in my vision all day not just when I think I have time to think about you!
I wish that I could tell my kids and my wife how I really truly feel about them, that they could understand that I would have no life without them, that they are the greatest blessings that God has ever given me. Yet, instead I pick, criticize, and irritate them, WHY? Oh God, please help me to lead my family as you need me to lead and lead them closer to you and not further away.
God, I know you have a lot of work yet to do in me and I pray that I will be pliable as potter's clay that you can mold me to where you need me to be and guide those you need me to guide.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Hmmm...

Is that a good title? I have not put anything into words lately and thought I probably should get something written since I said I was going to be a "blogger" almost sounds like a disease or is that just me? I have so much running through my head and nothing that pops up to write in a rational, organized, manner and yes that is how my life is run most days.
We did go bowling last night to celebrate the birthday of Aaron Taylor and to my surprise I actually had 130 the first game. WOOHOO and then reality hit that I am now a bowler and I think the second game was closer to 80 something. Bowling is one of those activities that the whole family can do together and have some fun but we never seem to think about it when we are looking for something to do as a family. I do think it could get somewhat expensive pretty quickly for a family of 5 @ $3.75 per game per person, but what cost do you put on good clean family fun on a Saturday evening? Maybe we will play again before the end of the summer and the boys head back to school, yes, Beth is going to school but she will be living at home, forever by the way and never moving away from her daddy. Before anyone tries to give me a dose of reality on this one remember this is my little fantasy world blog :)

Monday, July 7, 2008

What a weekend!

Well the weekend is over and the 50th anniversary party is in the books. All in all I think it went pretty well and no major issues. I will give a shout out to the photographer whom I think made the task of family photos very enjoyable for everyone and I have had several comments about how nice and good she handled everything (here should be the link to her website to advertise for Theresa but I do not have the url).

On a new subject sorta, I did get to meet my sisters husband from Norway and I must admit he is quite the character. I think everyone in the family has enjoyed meeting Jon Olav and sis I have to tell you I am SO excited for your life and how happy you all seem to be and how well he treats you. The world is not fair and you have felt more than your share of the unfairness in your life and you deserve all the happiness you can get (even if you are in Norway and I only get to see you every 3-4 years).

So, being new to this blog thing and having the scattered mind that I do you all may have to put up with my ramblings and jumping around on subjects, if anyone really even reads these things.
Which brings up a thought that goes through my head. Do you really truly write your feelings in a blog that might be read by people that actually know you? If you do will they think less of you when they read that you are not the perfect person you attempt to be in public? Or, will it confirm the thoughts they have the even though you think you are putting on a good display you are transparent and they already see the real you?
So many things happening and decisions that you want to make and need to just get your thoughts out there but is a blog a place to be transparent? Do I over analyze things? Do I care too much what others think of me? If Jason by chance read this blog when it influence the personal evaluation I need for the PLACE seminar? Am I truly an "I" or just fooling myself?
O.K. where was I with this rambling going nowhere thoughts?

Do you exercise the way you should, or that the doctor's say you should? With the increased age, I have found it even harder to loose weight and with the sky high cholesterol and blood pressure that does not want to drop I know that I should, yet I hate exercise and tend to use the "I am too busy" ever heard that one? I joined weight watchers and did pretty well for about 6-9 months and lost 36lbs but life and excuses got in the way and alas, 20 of those are back on my body. I did have Karen sign us ap at the YMCA and now I have to find a new excuse to not go to the Y for exercise. I guess if I actually worked as hard at getting to the Y and actually doing what I need to do as I do to get out of the work I would probably see some amazing results. But, are we (Or is it just me again) like that with our spiritual life, Family life, marriage, job? It seems easier to complain and whine than to do the work required to make things work as they should?

Well, enough of the ramblings for now, I will go ahead and put some of those energies into my job and get a little work done.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Family

Well, I am working here on my second post (no I will not number everyone) and thinking a lot about family right now as we are getting ready for my parents 50th anniversary (Theresa, I guess you and I really need to talk next week). Melissa (younger sister) and her husband Jon Olav (first time meeting him) arrived Wednesday evening from her home in Norway, Melanie (older sister) will arrive on Monday and Jerry (older brother) (do I use parenthesis to much?) will arrive next Thursday. I am very excited for my parents to have the chance to celebrate 50 years together and can only pray that I am around long enough for Karen and I to share in our own celebration, we only have 25 more years to go and I hope she can put up with me that much longer.

With all of this going on I am reflecting on my childhood and on the more recent past of how my kids will remember their own childhood. Will they be good memories or thoughts of how much better it could have been or what they wish they could have done. Have I been the father that God needed me to be or was there more I could have done? I do know that I am not perfect and can only do what I can do, and yet still wonder if I am doing it right? I do not think I am alone in these thoughts, I kind of think all parents ask the same questions at times. Don't we? Sometimes I want to see God's grading system on how I am doing and yet most of the time I am pretty sure I do not want to see my grade, kind of like when I was in school. Hmm... think my kids feel the same way about grades? Anyway, just some thoughts I am having today.

I am attempting to just reflect some thoughts in this forum and not anything particular to anyone just my own reflections, which at times can be a little unique. If you have comments that you would like to share with me I always appreciate the contributions.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

My first attempt to blog...

I have never been much of a writer, but this blog thing has me intrigued and so many people seem to get a little relief from just typing a few thoughts, so I thought I would try.
Oh yeah, as you read my blog in all future posts please note the lack of proper grammar and punctuation. My major was NOT grammar.

I will as time allows put some of my thoughts into words as best I can and I welcome all comments and suggestions.

I always enjoys reading the posts by many at the church and am inspired by Heather's great wisdom and reflection and often laugh at Theresa's kids (in a good way of course), Shane and Terry offer great wisdom and many others (do not mean others do not inspire like the one's listed) provide enjoyment in my day.